Thursday, April 2, 2009

Your first Love...

Remember that sweet first love? Do you remember him or her? I remember mine, sigh... I have been together with my husband for over 16 years, married for almost 13 years, and love him dearly, but this one will always have a teensy-weensy piece of my heart as well.

I was on my way home from work today, and for some reason I couldn't remember the date. Then I remembered that my son has early release from school tomorrow, which is April 3rd. That makes today April 2nd. For some reason I have never forgotten that date...

So to back up a little, say to 8th grade. I was 13 and in Junior High, and it was 1989. I walked to and from school everyday with a group of friends who lived near me, and one day there was this boy... (of course, right??) One of his friends was dating a girl I knew, and pretty soon they both ended up hanging around us after school.

This guy was so quiet, the total opposite of his friend, who was obnoxious! They were a bit older, close to 16 I think, and not old enough to drive. One day, he showed up on a motor scooter, and worked up enough guts to ask me if I wanted a ride home. I wanted too so bad, but my dad would have killed me, so I said no. So instead, he rode next to me the whole way home while I walked. This went on for a few weeks, and he would show up every now and then, and my friends teased me mercilessly, but he was so sweet! We even ran into him at the roller skating rink on Friday nights (1989, remember???)

One night I was staying over at a friends' house, and the phone rings. Then her mom tells me that it's for me. It was him, and I have NO idea to this day how he got her number, lol! We had seen him the night before at the rink, and he told me he had wanted to ask me out, but it was April Fool's day and didn't want me to think he was joking... So he had waited until the next day, and called me at my friends' house instead! Of course, like all 13 year old girls, we were giggling hysterically and screaming at each other, because it was soooooo romantic!

Not too long afterwards, he asked me to go skating with him. By this time, he had turned 16, and got a job, but I did NOT tell my dad this, since I was still 13! So up pulls my dad in the parking lot, and there I see my boyfriend in his car with a friend, and I wave... My dad sees I am waving at someone in a car, and he freaked out, saying, "This boy is old enough to drive??" He is blonde and is in the driver's seat, and had a friend with him who was brunette. So quickly I lie, and say "Oh no, it is the boy in the passenger seat!" Yeah, right, LOL!

Another week goes by, and we have a movie date. My dad again drives my to the movie theater to meet this boy, and he is waiting for me outside. Oh crap, because obviously the blonde guy is waiting on the sidewalk. My dad looks at me and says, "That's not the passenger, is it??"

There I am, thinking my dad is going to embarrass me beyond belief by saying something to this boy, and I was going to die of humiliation! All because I lied! But no, what he does is by FAR worse... He lets me go to the movies! And lets me know that he will be picking me up later to talk about this, and discuss what kind of trouble I am in. Yikes. I had a terrible night, and was grounded for a month, and was not allowed to date boys who were 16. I have never forgotten that trick either, and hope I never have to use that one on my children!

Do you know how long a month is when you are young and in love??? Good grief, it felt like forever! The friend I went to school with, who was dating this boy's friend, would pass along notes to me from him at school. One of them told me that he was going to drive by my house at 7PM and to make sure I was looking outside the window. We lived in an apartment on the second floor, and had a small balcony that faced the street. However, the kitchen and the living room also faced the street, and it was just past dinner time. I was trying non-chalantly to look out the window or be on the balcony at the right time. I just managed to see his car drive by, and his friend was hanging out the passenger window holding a sign 2 feet high that said "I {heart} U!!"

So I said this was 1989, right?? Do you remember what cars driven by 16 year old boys sounded like?? Especially 16 year old boys that were trying to impress a girl?? The stereo was blasting, and everyone for about 6 blocks in each direction could hear the bass booming, LOL! So of course my dad knew exactly who I was outside for, and made me come back inside.

Since I was not allowed to see him, we soon developed a sneaky routine. Since he had a job now, I didn't see him after school on the way home. Instead he would call me on his break when I got home from school and let me know if he could come see me. There was a park right down the street from my apartment, about 3 blocks away, and you could even see it from our balcony. Every few days, I would tell my dad I was going to go for a walk, or meet another friend at the park, and I would of course, go to meet him. Usually his friend was there too, and we did nothing more than sit, with both of us too nervous to do anything more than look at each other, and maybe hold hands!

These park visits were awkward too, because his friend and I were totally at odds with each other. This boy had never dated before, and his friend was used to not having to share his attention, so he was so mean! He would tease me constantly, ugh! But my boyfriend made it up to me by sending me flowers at school, ALOT! And another girlfriend still smuggled me notes in school, and he called me everyday.

I still have all of those notes in a little box in my closet, sad isn't it???


For most of the next year or so we dated on an off, and I believe it is because we are both under the sign of Taurus. We were both young, stubborn, and proud, not able to admit when we were wrong, and hot-headed! When we were happy, we were really happy, but when we fought, it was ugly. Not violent in anyway, but lots of yelling, and more than a few tears. He would pretend he didn't care, and I would try to make him jealous with another random boy. We all know how that works, right?? Even though we couldn't seem to stay together long, neither could we seem to stay apart. My dad resigned himself to the fact that I was going to keep seeing this boy, and even went so far as to go to his house and meet his parents! He got used to the phone calls, and more movie and skating nights. But to this day, he would probably scowl if he heard this boys' name!

The summer after 8th grade, I spent a month in San Diego, California with my grandma. Me and the boy were on the outs, and I couldn't stand it that I was going to be gone for a month. I decided to give it my all and put my heart out there, and see what happened. I found a card that I thought was perfect, and after agonizing over whether to send it or not, I just went for it. It said in giant letters on the front, "I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU, YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!!" Then the inside in tiny letters, it said "I just wanted you to know that."

I mailed it before I left, and after driving to CA from WA, and spending a few days going to Sea World and the San Diego Zoo, I got a letter in the mail at my grandma's house. He had called my dad and begged for the address to send me a letter. We wrote back and forth a few times, and when I got back I was so excited to see him! But why is it, that at that age, everything is so awkward?? We both had poured out our hearts in these letters, and yet here we were face to face, and couldn't even hardly talk to each other! He was trying to impress me with how nice he was dressed and a fancy watch, and I was trying to act aloof and play hard to get, so we were right back to where we started, lol! I guess we never learned.

But we continued to be on again, off again, and though I dated other people, we ran in the same circles so ran into each other often. We even had a period of 'non' dating, which I think was one of the most frustrating times of my life. If I didn't ask if we were dating, everything was fine. He would pick me up, take me out, buy me flowers, everything. But girls have to have a label, right? Is he my boyfriend, or isn't he? I could go for a few weeks or a month, and then I would have to ask, "Are we dating?" This inevitably ended up with a fight, and he would storm off, and I would cry. Then a little time would go by, and he would call, or a friend would say, hey, I ran into the boy, and he misses you, and we would start hanging out again. I again would be so happy to be together again, that I wouldn't ask the dreaded question. But time would pass, and I would hear from someone that mentioned me, and he would tell them, "Oh, she's not my girlfriend!" and it would start again. Such silliness!

By the time I started in 10th grade, we had got to the point that as much I believe we loved each other, we just couldn't look past our individual stubbornness to set it aside and just relax. We would see each other across the room, or wherever we were and just shoot daggers. We hardly saw each other that year, and by the time that school year was over, I moved away, back to Bellingham. I heard from mutual friends that he eventually moved away too, and hadn't heard from him in a long time.

Some time in my 11th grade year when I was 17, my dad came to tell me I had a long-distance phone call. It was the boy calling from out of state, and he was going to be around Bellingham and wanted to see me, so I met him for a few hours to catch up. A couple months later, I got one more phone call from the boy. He said it had been great to catch up, and he was still living out of state, and he wanted to see me again. Then he asked me if I would marry him and come live out of state!! Part of me was swept away by how romantic it was and was dying to say yes, and part of me was a scared 17 year old girl, thinking my dad was upstairs and would FREAK!!! So I said no.

Shortly after this when I was still 17 and a senior in high school, I started dating my husband. We didn't date for more than 6 weeks, when we moved in together. I got in a huge fight with my dad and decided to move out, and had a place to stay. A few short weeks later, the people I had become roommates with decided to move, and I was stuck. My not-yet-husband said we should get a place! He still lived at home and everyone thought we were NUTS, but we did it anyways.

Fast forward a few years, we decide to get engaged.. I get an out-of-the-blue phone call from the boy. He was diving a semi truck, and was going to be in town. So we go for coffee, and talk a bit. He's married and brought his wife from out of state back here. Another few years go by, and we sent out invitations for our wedding. I get a phone call from the boy on my answering machine, and he says he will be at our wedding.

That was 1996, and he never came, and I have not seen or heard from him since. I haven't thought about him in quite awhile, but got a little misty-eyed tonight on my drive home. Thinking about April 2nd, 1989. Twenty years ago!

I will admit, every few years I will stay up too late and Google the boy. Never have I been able to find him, and I am so curious what he has done with his life. Is he still married? Does he have kids?? Where is he living, what does he do??  I am just dying of curiosity!!!

Maybe one of you knows... Those of you who knew me at SJH (now middle school, weird!) in 8th and 9th grade I am sure cannot fail to remember who this boy is.

1 comment:

  1. Awww, Shasta! What fun it was to read your love story. Thanks for taking the time to share! :)